Thursday, February 18, 2010

Clothing expiration date

Tonight was it. The last night I'll be able to wear the t-shirt I always wear to host meetings of the non-profit group I run. Last month a perceptive friend could tell I was pregnant before I made the public announcement. But my belly wasn't fully announcing itself to just anyone.

Tonight was a different story. I've been out and showing since I went to a WAHM on January 25, but this regular shirt over a turtleneck was pushing it. A friend visiting a meeting for the first time -- the one who has been so gracious of a listener and sharer just a few months after a miscarriage -- announced, "Well, you're really sporting the belly bump!" I felt embarrassed.

I guess I still don't know what it means to be a proud pregnant lady. This time last time, I was giving a presentation to a scholastic journalism conference and wearing maternity sweaters that made it obvious. I remember looking at myself naked in the hotel mirror and thinking, "I am absolutely huge."

Monday I was up to 114 lbs. and today the same scale said almost 117. I haven't dragged out my files to check on anything and haven't even given the forms to the midwife to get her own copy of them. So who knows how my growth compares to last time. I just know that the feelings I'm having do not.

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