My first tell

Okay, I'd already told my guy acupuncturist (in person, the day of the first test) and my therapist (via email, while rescheduling). But today I told the woman acupuncturist who said six weeks ago she wanted ovulation closer to 14 days than 21 (and she got it!). She put needles in the points that are used for nausea, among other things, and we were both nearly zapped out of our skin by the charge of electricity. "Wow, your qi is high! I felt that!" I've had a lot of needles stuck in me but I've never had a zap and tingle like that.

Later, I emailed to a friend who recently had a miscarriage because I didn't want to go to yoga and lunch with her next week and later tell her I was/am or had been pregnant. I wasn't sure if she might want a rain check, but she was just so cheery and congratulatory. "How have you been feeling?" she asked.

That was a few hours ago. I've ignored some other emails, too, but I should have replied to this one. The thing is, I don't really want to say that I'm feeling totally normal in my body and totally in some kind of surreal denial in my head.

While I was not replying to emails tonight, I was watching the last episode of season one of "Mad Men." I knew from the "Making of 'Mad Men'" special feature that Peggy was indeed pregnant and that she would have the baby -- and turn away from him -- this season. When my husband said this was the last episode, I couldn't believe there would be no more lead-up. There it was: she just went to the hospital in the beginning stages of labor claiming she ate a bad sandwich.

I don't think my denial will rival Peggy's, but this feels so strange. "Maybe it's just a different pregnancy," the acupuncturist said when I told her that I wasn't noticing any of the symptoms I had at this point the first time around.

Indeed!